national coming out day 2022
I felt like I didn't have anything to say this year for #NationalComingOutDay2022 but I was wrong. I just had to mull it over for a few days more.
I've come out plenty in my 29 years, but I think the biggest moment for me was in 2018. When Love, Simon hit the theaters. I saw it with my mom.
While I've always been queer, saying things like "I could see myself falling in love with a woman, BUT I'M STILL STRAIGHT" and "I don't feel like a girl, BUT I AM” — I haven’t always had the right words for it.
When I was sixteen, I found demisexual and used that. Discovered pretty early on that gender didn’t matter to me as much. When I was in my early twenties, I adopted the bisexual label a little more. And when I was in my mid-twenties, I found nonbinary. A new gender (to me, at least) that finally let my world make a little more sense.
As I’ve found these labels—and communities—I’ve come out to loved ones at various stages of my life.
But the biggest moment for me wasn’t coming out… that was after my mom watched me sob through most of Love, Simon (2018). We got in the car, and while I was ranting and raving about how damn good the movie was, she quietly asked me, “Is that how it felt for you?”
I don’t even think she knows this, but that was a huge moment for me. I felt seen in a way that I hadn’t before. Like finally, after all this time, one of the most important people in the world saw me.
She’s always been supportive, been ready to fight at my side, and never once have I doubted that. But that moment in the car, driving from the Belleville theater, turning down Sydney Street? That was a big one.
So, while belated, this #NationalComingOutDay2022—I want to say thank you to Becky Albertalli for breaking barriers down for queer people, so that I could have a conversation like this with my mom. Thank you to my mom, who has never stumbled in her love for me. And thank you to all the other queers out there for reminding me time and time again that we matter. Our voices matter.
Go tell your queer loved one that you love them today, and remember to use your voice to stand beside them.
xo,
Ronnie
